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Ayreon: The theory of everything

03/04/14 || The Duff

I am a helluvan Ayreon fanboy having discovered them researching ex-staffer The Abyss’ review of “The Human Equation” way back in 2004. I was an enormous Devin Townsend and Opeth fan, so a record with the former and the latter’s frontman equated to jizz in my pants, and in hunting down Arjen’s prior works I found prog masterpieces also in “Into the Electric Castle” and, to a lesser extent, “The Universal Migrator”.

Then “10101” or whatever the fuck arrived and critics said ‘magnificent, but more of the same’ which I think a falsehood; that record is darker than anything under the Ayreon banner by a good long mile, and so rumours spread of an Ayreon closure to my dismay as I loved the piss out of that record; Guilt Machine followed and proved Arjen hadn’t missed a beat and was still proficient at selecting qualified musicians to realise his visions.

And then we find Arjen in early 2013 writing new music for Ayreon, and my pants begin to constrict. And now it is upon us, with hardly any forewarning as far as I can tell. And so, three prog masterpieces where are we at with “The Theory of Everything”?

First listens were disappointing, I found that with less of a bedazzling vocal pedigree the music unfortunately was not as engaging (this brings back the vocal exclusivity of “Into the Electric Castle”); on the last Ayreon record we were blessed with Tom S. Englund, fucking Daniel Gildenlow and Jonas Renske, as well as some ten or so other more than capable vocalists. But goddamn fucking Daniel Gildenlow, on “The Fifth Extinction”. And Jorn on “Liquid Eternity”, Jesus McFucktitties who are these critics anyway?

In contrast, the male vocalists on “The Theory of Everything” seemed like young pups, but this was merely due to some unfamiliarity and of course missing the growls to the ending of “0101011” or Mikael Akerfeldt from “The Human Equation”. Yes, there are no growls on this record. The female vocalists are unknowns as far as I can tell with the exception of Scabia from Lacuna Coil, but suffice to say those who do feature are formidable – Arjen has ventured into some unusual places to find what mixes and matches this most recent of his endeavours.

When you warm to the disc though you find that this is a scaled back Ayreon record, or a bigged up Guilt Machine. The story is pompous as you’d expect from Ayreon; lyrically, it can be a bit of a ride, a parody of itself, but there is conviction here, and at the end of the day Arjen still knows how to make epic, catchy melodies and combine it with all the worthwhile elements to keep rock, prog and metal fans equally satisfied.

One thing that struck me the most was the lack of guitar solos, and not even guest-spot at that – Arjen is a formidable guitarist, his leads have each been exceptional, unique and perfect for their situation, yet here we sadly only find the one, and more blues-oriented than full-pelt, exotic shred. In the place of guitar slots we have synth solos from two of prog’s biggest names, Keith Emerson and Rick Wakeman from Emerson, Lake and Palmer and Yes, respectfully, as well as I’m certain other bands and solo projects.

I’m sure Jordan Rudess of Dream Theater wasn’t the only prog mastermind jizzing his pants at the thought of appearing on this record.

The production is thick, sweet; Arjen also handles the duties for levels, mastering, and I don’t think he has deviated much since “The Human Equation”. There is a breezier, marine-like quality to “The Theory of Everything”, less thick than “010110101”, I am completely talking out from my ass and perhaps simply influenced by the album cover, from none other than Jef Bertels who also did everything prior from “The Electric Castle” onwards – an artist any sci-fi geek would love to have hung from their bedroom wall.

I am talking out from my ass again, if a sci-fi geek would want anything hung from their wall it would be Princess Laiya naked, unwilling but defeated, yes?

“The Theory of Everything” is a grand album, I am glad Arjen decided to pursue Ayreon, even in this, a reduced format; musically the ingredients are the same, the scope is less awe-inspiring, and not only with the reduction of vocal contributors, but at the end of the day musically the man has yet to be faulted and so we welcome yet another addition to his stellar catalogue.

8,5

Information
Released: 2014
Label: InsideOut Music
Website: www.arjenlucassen.com
Band
Ed Warby: drums
Arjen Anthony Lucassen: guitars, bass, mandolin, keyboards, synthesizers, hammond, solina strings
Guest Vocalists
JB (Grand Magus)
Sara Squadrani (Ancient Bards)
Michael Mills (Toehider)
Cristina Scabbia (Lacuna Coil)
Tommy Karevik (Kamelot, Seventh Wonder)
Marco Hietala (Nightwish, Tarot)
John Wetton (Asia, UK, ex-King Crimson, ex-Family, ex-Roxy Music)
Wilmer Waarbroek: backing vocals

Tracklist
Disc 1
01. Prologue: The Blackboard
02. The Theory of Everything Part 1
03. Patterns
04. The Prodigy’s World
05. The Teacher’s Discovery
06. Love and Envy
07. Progressive Waves
08. The Gift
09. The Eleventh Dimension
10. Inertia
11. The Theory of Everything Part 2
12. The Consultation
13. Diagnosis
14. The Argument 1
15. The Rival’s Dilemma
16. Surface Tension
17. A Reason to Live
18. Potential
19. Quantum Chaos
20. Dark Medicine
21. Alive!
22. The Prediction
Disc 2
01. Fluctuations
02. Transformations
03. Collision
04. Side Effects
05. Frequency Modulation
06. Magnetism
07. Quid pro quo
08. String Theory
09. Fortune?
10. Mirror of Dreams
11. The Lighthouse
12. The Argument 2
13. The Parting
14. The Visitation
15. The Breakthrough
16. The Note
17. The Uncertainty Principle
18. Dark Energy
19. The Theory of Everything Part 3
20. The Blackboard (Reprise)

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